Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Good the Bad and the Ugly of being a Mom.

The other day I watched a episode of Oprah, all about mothers. How so many mothers feel the need to be perfect and put on this facade that life is perfect and motherhood is always fabulous. Not so much.
I am 19 years old and a mother of two. I know I made the choices to keep and have my two girls, but i have to say there are times I do think to my self...what have I done?!
The times when its been 3 days since you have been able to get ready, when your 2 year old looks like she came off the streets, and your newborn is in her swing crying and your on the other side of the door having your own personal breakdown moment. These are examples of my bad times.
My laundry piles up often, my room is a mess 75% of the time, I clean a toy room 10 times a day and a kitchen at least 5 times. Change diapers hourly, and do what I can to get the girls bathed and ready for the day. It is often when I am not ready until 5 that night. Bills to pay with money that is not always there This is my daily life.
After being up all night long last night with Marley, I was in the living room with my 2 girls playing at 8 this morning...before I knew it, it was 10:30 and I was on the toy room couch waking up. Luckily my husband was home and had put Marley to sleep and Alyviah was helping him work on the yard....but really...if he wouldn't of been home what could of happened? How awful did I feel. These are the ugly times for me.
The Sleeping Beauty kisses I get from my sweet daughter Alyviah, hearing Marley laugh for the first time, watching my husband try to teach lyv how to swim and laughing at them the whole time, and at night putting Alyviah to bed hearing her sing to me now and peaking in on her when she's finally fallen asleep. These are my saving grace.
On this oprah episode they had a mom from SLC on there who has a very popular personal blog at www.dooce.com. Its all about her experiences as a mom, and it is funny, and it helps at times.

3 comments:

  1. toni i love you....that was the greatest you have no idea!!

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  2. Ah, this makes me both nervous and just more nervous!! Ha thanks that is so sweet of you to say that. I think I was probably more ready then than I am now. I wasnt expecting it at all. But Im just soo glad it is with Kevin because he is SUCH a good man. I want to see your girls toni kae! Can we hang out soon maybe you can give me some pointerss!! Haha Your girls are beautiful!

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  3. Toni.... So super random, I don't even know how I stumbled upon your blog but I did. Reading this comment totally made me teary eyed. It was so honest and heartfelt. I can't even imagine the joy, excitement and pain you feel daily. I know the kind Lord is mindful of you. Thanks again for posting this... seriously it made my day. -Jessica (Perry) Schaack

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